The Ocean

My friend sent me this, a sample of what kids said when asked to write about the ocean…

Seems they have all been to my house…

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight
testicles.(Kelly, age 6)

2. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3. If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island .
If you don't have ocean all round you, you are
incontinent. ( Wayne , age 7)

4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth,
just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend
any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5. A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top
of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6. My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman
and pots and comes back with crabs.(Millie, age 6)

7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade
winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind
didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make
the wind come. My brother said they would have been better
off eating beans.(William, age 7)

8. Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful
and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids
get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9. I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother
is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my
big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy, age 6)

10. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.
Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live
in caves under the sea where I think they have to
plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11. When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold,
and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water.
Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down
on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13. On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when
she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again
because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14. The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't
drown I don't know.(Bobby, age 6)

15. My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the
ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor
and married my mom. (James, age 7)