OK, I admit it: I went a little overboard buying pumpkins this year. I think I did it so you could check out our mad carving skills...
Friday, October 31, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
I didn't realize until late yesterday afternoon, though, just how much I have become accustomed to my privacy and the freedom to do what I want when I want and where I want when I am at home. One activity in particular is one of my favorites (and I'm guessing might be some of yours, too). Under normal circumstances, I can do it in the kitchen, living room, on the stairs and--of course--in my bedroom without worrying. I try to make sure I am alone but sometimes my kid catches me. I refuse to be ashamed of myself because it's only natural. Sure he complains, but he's young and he'll get over it. He does it, too, and is better than me most times.
So last night I had my house back, and whatever inhibitions I had over the weekend were gone. Actually I felt like I was making up for lost time because I went at it with a vengeance. Felt good, too! I admit it: I love it. What a release! Like a balloon that you let go before tying it, I sputtered all over the place and it was so nice to not have to worry who might be coming around the corner. What a glorious thing the F word is. Farting. Farting makes me happy.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
(Originally posted October 5, 2007):
It is hard to believe that five years ago today that I watched my husband die. Sometimes it seems like it just happened. Sometimes it seems like forever ago, a distant memory. My son was only two at the time. So much has happened since then:
We’ve made a home for ourselves closer to my family, a move that I am positive was the best thing for us both. The love and support that he and I get from my family is priceless. He goes to a great school that is close to home and to my work and is advancing along as well as I could ever hope. My son is remarkable, and the purest reason I can think of for everything that I do. He is smart, funny, creative and able to adapt to almost any situation. I don’t think it’s arrogant when I say that I have the kid that people actually like to see coming--and I get that even from people who claim not to like children…
What I don’t get is this: Even if I did have “that kid” (the one that makes people cringe, the tiny terror, the problem child, whatever) I do not understand to this day why my husband’s parents, brothers or sister have not seen their grandson/nephew since they were in Florida for my husband’s funeral. Not once. Not once have they asked. Not once have they offered to have us come and visit, or to come and see us. Not once have they called him on the telephone. The only communication I get from them is a box addressed to my son around Christmastime. I have been tempted to throw it away, but never have.
Last year, I finally tried reaching out to my husband’s sister. I wrote her a letter and included pictures of my son. I explained that it didn’t matter to me what the family thought of me, but that I just wanted them to know this beautiful boy. A couple of months later I received a Christmas card with a brief note inside from her, saying that she was really busy but would be in touch after the holidays. That was almost a year ago, and I’ve had no word since. They don’t know what they are missing. Like I said, I don’t care what they think about me, but it’s funny how I have been treated more like an ex-wife than a widow by these people. The only thing I ever did was love their son and mine with all my heart.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
WANTED: Someone comfortable enough in their manhood to be my partner so we can do this in real life. To my son. Preferably on a day when both the principal and vice principal of his school are in the parking lot directing traffic. Day of week is not an issue. Please contact me via this blog.
P.S. If you'd prefer to wear the skirt, fine with me.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
...Um, I still don't get it!