Wednesday, July 9, 2008

My Cup Runneth Under

Of my many vices, Diet Coke has got to be my worst. People give me a hard time about it just about every day, but until it’s illegal I’m not quitting. Really, I think—wait, I know—I could quit smoking before I could give up my beloved DC. It is very rare that I don’t have any in the house, but yesterday I had to decide whether to put a gallon of gas in my car or buy some of my bubbly beverage, so I sucked it up and bought the gas. Today, though, knowing that my direct deposit would be in bright and early I made sure I was, too, so that I could stop and fill up my 44 ounce cup on the way to work and hit the same sweet high I guess addicts experience when that first hit of whatever hits their bloodstream. I swear I am that bad when I take my first sip. I don’t go anywhere without my cup or at least a can in hand, so the bigger the receptacle the better as far as I’m concerned…

I also needed some Tylenol. I don’t often get headaches, but I developed one yesterday morning that wouldn’t budge. I decided I’d grab one of those single dose packs that you can get at the convenience store along with my drink. When I got in the car and started to open the Tylenol, I noticed the package said “drinking cup included.” Hm. What kind of cup could be in this little thing? Turns out, this was:



Ha! Is that great or what? I guess it depends on one’s definition of “drinking cup,” doesn’t it? Funny, I don’t recall reading “drinking cup for a garden gnome” on that package anywhere. They do clearly point out, though that it is ANOTHER INNOVATIVE IDEA FOR THE "PEOPLE ON THE GO." What a relief that was to see because I should hope they'd get some credit, might as well give it to themselves... So this is their idea of a cup, huh? I think it’s a cruel prank. Finally, you are going to get some relief from your ache or pain and there is room for just enough water in there to lodge the Tylenol perfectly half way down your throat. Great! Now you are choking. “Well just refill it you say,” right? Wrong. I’m guessing since this “cup” has about the thickness of toilet paper that it’s a one-shot deal.

Go ahead and tease me all you want about my giant cup, people. At least I can take my Tylenol.

11 comments:

holly said...

Somehow I foresee paper cuts on the lips in this scenario. That will feel real good when you try to eat some potato chips later on. :)

p.s. Diet Coke is alternatively known around our house as "The Devil's Brew" or "the lifeblood." Can't live without it!

Lindsey said...

We used to gather around the kitchen in the mornings to watch my dad take his pills because they'd always hit that punching bag at the bag of his throat and he'd make "KLUGH!" noises until it dislodged. It was pure entertainment. He needed at least 64 ounces of water to get all of his pills down. Funny stuff.

Amy said...

Holly: Haha papercuts on the lips! Sometimes I think I'd do better just to hook up an IV! At least that would free up my hands.

Lindsey: Ha! My folks are like that, too. You know those plastic trays with all the compartments that go in the top of a tackle box? That's what their "pill organizers" look like.

Reenie said...

Getting a pill lodged in the throat is dreadful. When it does happen to me, which thank goodness is rare, it seems to always happen at night and I lie there in misery.

Sidebar: Sorry I've been MIA. I had a family emergency in CA and flew in haste and was there for 10 days. Now I have health issues of my own, which I am weary of. I think I need a tylenol. :)

Amy said...

Reenie: I have been wondering about you. Please know that I will keep you and your family in my thoughts! XO.

Cary said...

I never get pills lodged in my throat, but suppositories are another matter.

But I'm with you, Aimer. I live for my Diet Pepsi. People at work ask me how many I drink a day, and I refuse to answer. They would be shocked. Let's just say I've earned enough Pepsi Points so far to get five free CDs.

Yes, I know it's bad for me, but what the hell, it's my only vice (unless playing with yerself counts).

Amy said...

Cary: So then YOU are the reason that there is a warning on the Preparation H box that says "DO NOT TAKE ORALLY"???

Cary said...

Yes, probably. I put that stuff on my lips once -- got it mixed up with my Canka -- and my lips swoll up till I sounded like Mush Mouth when I talked. Heyba Fatba Albabertba

amy said...

C: BAHAHA!!!!!!!

Harmony said...

I am the same way with my Pepsi...Diet (to me) is just "gateway" so I hit the hard stuff! Once a dietician told me that the amount of Pepsi I drink in one day is equivalent to a whole pie...and then he asked "now would you eat a whole pie everyday?". In which I replied "that depends...what kind of pie are we talking about?" He was pissed and obviously born without a sense of humor...don't mess with my Pepsi Doc.

amy said...

H: HA! It's a good thing that regular Coke/Pepsi gives me heartburn, because if I drank it instead of diet then my ginormous bum would be even ginormouser!