For some reason I am a weirdo magnet… Perfect strangers find me irresistible, especially if they have some gross medical condition they want to discuss or if they need gas money. Recently, though, I got a good laugh when I stopped at the convenience store and I thought I’d share:
Dude: Can I help you?
Me: Can I get a pack of Marlboro Light 100’s in a box, please?
Dude: You sher can!
Dude: Those are some big earrings you have on. They go good with your big blue ears.
Dude: Oh! I mean eyes, eyes!
Me: That’s O.K., I’m really a Smurf.
Dude: Heh. That’s funny. (Puts the wrong kind cigs on the counter) Are you sure you’re old enough to smoke?
Me: Yep. By about twenty years.
Dude: You don’t look 49.
Me: That’s because I’m 39.
Dude: O.K., now you’re embarrassing me! When’s your birthday?
Dude: So you’re only a couple of months older than me.
Me: Smurfs age really well.
Dude: Heh. That’s funny.
Me: Can I please have 100’s?
Dude: Oh. Heh. Sorry! (Hands me 100’s in a soft pack. I don’t have the heart at this point to correct him again).
Me: That’s O.K. Have a good day.