Buddy

Even before he took the x-ray, I could tell Dr. Larry was not happy with what he was looking at: Our dog, Buddy, had developed a large knot on his ankle and had been limping. I figured it was a fatty tumor, arthritis even, but the doc's face told me a different story. Dr. Larry asked my son and me to come back in an hour so he could do the x-rays...

After our trip to Wal-Mart and a quick bite to eat, we were back. Dr. Larry smiled genuinely when he took me in to show me the film: "Osteosarcoma," he said. Our dog has bone cancer. I won't go into the details of the prognosis and possible treatments (there are few). No, he isn't in pain. No, you don't need to do anything different than what you do every day. No, you couldn't have prevented it. Now what I am wrestling with is how to deal with it where my son is concerned...

I haven't told him.

I feel like telling him will start this painful countdown for him: "Mom, has it been four months, yet?" Or, "Mom, how many more days until Buddy dies?" Truth is, I just don't know what to do. My friends and family say different things: Don't tell him at all. Tell him Buddy ran away. Go away for the weekend and let us take care of it...

Unfortunately in my case my son has a better grasp on death than most kids his age: As I've mentioned here before, his father died when he was two. I try the best I can to answer his questions about it honestly and appropriately. In this case, though, I feel like I'm lying to him. I know that regardless of my actions he will be heartbroken. I am, too, and not just because Buddy is a member of our family, but also because his kinship with my son is a beautiful thing. They are inseperable when we are at home, and Buddy's patience has been a joy to watch. Last week, my son put a 'do rag on Buddy's head. It was hilarious to my son (OK, to me, too!) Buddy sat there and took it like a champ. He's worn my old t-shirts, Mardi-Gras beads and a jingle bell at Christmastime. He's a gorgeous creature that could be mistaken for a small horse when at full gallop around the back yard. He is our friend.

How do you tell a child that their friend is going to be gone forever?