376

August 17th, 2009 wasn't anything like I thought it would be. For the 364 days before that I had been counting down to it, thinking that there would be some kind of music or bright shining light that would follow me around and that people would know I was something special. Truth is, the day was cloudy and blah and I spent most of it in the car in search of a job, so with the exception of the time I spent during my interview with the Human Resource Manager I was by myself, and I realize now that it's just fine.

August 17, 2008 was the day I stopped drinking. That day I was scared, lonely and very sick. I'm not so scared or lonely anymore, but the sick part will be with me forever. The difference now is that I know it, admit it, and love it. I love it because alcohol no longer runs my life. I love it because I have an answer. I love it because I now know how many people there are that know exactly how I feel and that I can talk about it without reservation or fear of judgement. I love it because I feel a freedom like I never have and I am not willing to give that up. I am a grateful, recovering alcoholic.

Some of you who have visited here before may be familiar with what I call The Beer Ticker. It was my way of counting my days sober, and another level of accountability to myself. Many of you have counted the days right along with me, something from which I have drawn a tremendous amount of strength and encouragement. I can never express how humbled I am by the words of love and support that you have shared here as it has helped me beyond description. I've decided, though, to retire the ticker. Frankly I don't feel that I need it anymore and it's time to move on. So this will be the last time you will see the words:

"The value of Budweiser stock continues to plummet on this, the 376th day of Amy's sobriety... Sell! Sell! Sell!"

I love you all.

~Amy