Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Christmas Trees for Dummies

This weekend my son and I set out to get a Christmas tree. Everything was going great --or so I thought—since we were able to pick out and pay for a tree, stop at the drug store and cruise through the drive-thru all within an hour. “This will be a breeze,” I thought… Then the real fun started:

I won’t bore you with all the gory details, but would like to spare as much suffering as possible to the rest of you out there. Please, learn from my mistakes:

Mistake #1: Eight foot Frasier Fir + high-heeled boots + hardwood floors = bruises.
Mistake #2: Steak knives are NOT meant for cutting tree branches, Christmas or otherwise.
Mistake #3: Cursing at tree and stand will not make tree stand up straight.
Mistake #4: After male relative or friend shows up with proper cutting tools and you are excited to finally be able to screw the screws into the tree stand, make sure you have ALL the legs attached first.
Mistake #5: Unless pine needles and sap are part of the dress code, don’t wear anything during tree-setting-up process that you plan to wear anywhere else.

I hope this helps!

P.S. The tree looks beautiful, if I do say so myself.

No comments: